Legacy

Growing up, I would often find letters tucked beneath my pillow or slipped under my bedroom door. Sometimes to mark a specific event; other times just because there were difficult words, not so easily spoken, that still needed to be said.

I have a smallish wooden box stowed in the recesses of deep dresser drawer that holds every one of them I ever received, my name spelled out across the now frayed envelopes in the familiar, concise block letters of my father's handwriting. From time to time, I revisit the messages he felt compelled to share with me then. The letters have yellowed slightly; the paper has thinned, its well-worn fragility evidence of how often they've been read and re-read in the years since they were written.

I read one, written when I was thirteen, and am gifted with humility, reminded that I once walked many miles in the same shoes my son is currently wearing, trampling on my parents' hearts in the process. My empathy comes naturally. I've been where he is.

Certain habits such as your inclination to not carry through projects to the end and your reluctance to use all of your God-given talents have never bothered me as much as it has other folks. (read, your mother) The reason is that I know youth is not an easy experience and my own background was much the same. However, just as it happened with me, you will wake up one day with the desire to accomplish certain goals. And just like me, you will succeed.

I read another, written on the occasion of my 17th birthday, and am fortified with confidence that my perpetual hopefulness is less a desperate clench than it is a determined grasp.

I want to bring attention again to the bits of advice that I gave you some time ago. I notice that you still have them posted on your bulletin board. I might just add one other pearl of wisdom - your Mom and brother are precious people and should be handled accordingly.

Now that your 17th birthday is near, I know that you realize your Dad has many shortcomings. It is good that you understand people are imperfect. But even so, Jenny, I look forward to our future relationship. I do not expect you to share all of your secrets with old baldy...Daddies are not for that. I do expect that communication lines are to be kept open always. Dads are there when their little girls need help. Dads may be able to give daughters another perspective on things. And most importantly, your Dad wants to do everything in his power to assist you through all of your times - happy, sad, gentle, or tough.

Together, we can rise above anything.

I read yet one more, written during the particularly delightful height of my teenage angst, and understand that leading with your heart does not have to be a sign of weakness. Instead, if done well and with consistency, it can be an impenetrable position of strength.

This is just a short note to tell you that you have been a real joy to me and that I am so very proud to be your Dad. We have our moments of happiness, sadness, friendship and disappointments to remember. We've each learned a lot about each other. I believe you have so much potential to lead a full and satisfying life. You are an intelligent, beautiful, and sensitive young lady. Much of your future depends on what and how you do of your own free will. If you will listen to what I have to say for the next few lines, I'll try to give you a few things I've learned that might help you as you continue to grow up into a lovely young woman.

- When faced with a decision of any consequence, stop and ask yourself, "What is the right thing to do?" Then do it.

- Life means more when you are doing something for someone else.

- You have tremendous influence on those younger than you. Your brother looks up to you. Keep this in mind as you make your way.

- Don't be afraid to show your love and respect for people.

- When you give 100%, the results will please you.

- Keep God ever present in your heart.

I wish you only goodness in the difficult years ahead. I'll try to always be there when you need me. But if I am not, try to recall this letter and all the love with which it was written.

I shared some of Dad's letters with my mother once, in a fit of sentimentality. She read a few, then handed them back, a misty eyed smile on her face. "Do you know what he was telling me during all of this? He'd say, 'It was you and me before she came along, and it will be you and me long after she is on her own. But we will get through it now, because it's you and me today.' I've never forgotten those words. I even remember where we stood and what he was wearing when he said them."

He is a wise man, my dad. The words he wrote to me resonate as clearly and as powerfully today as they did all those years ago, albeit for different reasons, viewed through the prism of an altered perspective.

Then, they were intended as a guiding hand as I stumbled through the maze of youth.

Now, I read them as a guiding hand as I stumble through the maze of parenthood.

Lessons from the past, applied to the present. I think this is his legacy to me, the one I'm meant to continue on. And I believe in it, with every fiber of my being.

Together, we can rise above anything.

Love is a very difficult thing to explain. It is also a very difficult bond to break. I am so pleased that you know I care about you and yours much more than some can imagine.

Was it not smart for God to make such a special thing out of the relationship between Dads and their little girls?

All my love, Dad

Was it not brilliant, indeed.

Then again, the better question might be: aren't I one of the lucky ones?

Comments

[Stacy]

Your father was full of wisdom that he so sweetly wrote down for you. What a wonderful way for him to say what he could not speak to you, and wonderful memories for you. A beautifully written post.

[Kay]

We have such similar fathers!!! My dad is SO supportive and all, "I know you will be spread thin when you visit TX so I'll understand if you can't spend too much time with me" to the point that the last time I went for a visit he got the most time...if not, that damn Cats in the Cradle song comes in my head.

We're so lucky! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[J&J's Mom]

Wow..well deserving of Momma K's nomination...I'm going to go dry my tears now..lucky girl ;0)

[TB]

That was lovely. And your relationship with a father who is emotionally avaiable and loving and demonstrative and communicative is really a treasure.

Congratulations on your award.

[erin]

Beautiful

[Holly]

I came via MommaK. This made me get a huge lump in my throat, and by the end, tears were in my eyes. What a wonderful Father you have, those notes are treasures. And you, by the way, have an immense talent for writing!

[Faith]

I don't even know what to say. Beautiful and precious! It is indeed the perfect post.

[Isabel]

Sounds like you you were blessed with a wonderful Father.

I think it's great that you have the insight to save these letters and revisit them now that you are older and wiser.

[OldOldLady Of The Hills]

Such a beautiful post and what a rich legacy of love yourDad has given you and continuews to give you...it's so wonderful that you have these letters still, and I'm sure will keep them close to you, forever...
So happy to discover you today.
Give your Daddy a BIG Hug for me, will you?

[Mary]

How beautiful. And what a special kind of love you have known and get to pass down because of the kind of man your father was.
A wonderful legacy, indeed.

(Thank you MommaK)

[Darcie]

That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing, and I'm so glad MommaK pointed me in your direction. Wow.

[Lisa]

Can I just say...this makes me want to write a note to each of my girls. What a very smart, patient, loving man!

(Came here from MommaK - glad I did!) :)

[old horsetail snake]

Your Dad: A man for the ages.

[Lucinda]

Wow. Great post. Your dad is amazing. :)

[Angie]

You have something I have never known. It is beautiful to see how much you treasure your father's love. I am visiting from MommaK and the February Perfect Post awards.

[Marie]

So sweet... you are lucky to have those treasures to read & re-read...

[Owlhaven]

Awesome post!!! I am here from MommaK's Congrats on the Perfect Post award. It is great!

MARY

[Adriana Bliss]

This is an amazing post - you "are" one of the lucky ones, indeed. This also gives such a beautiful goal to stride towards.

[Anne]

Wow.
Wow.
Oh how I envy you this.
You were (are) indeed one of the very, very lucky ones.

[jill]

Yow. This post was beautiful and inspiring. And in a way, I am heart-wrenchingly sad that I never, ever had any types of conversations or letters like this from my parents. Thank you for sharing yours. I cannot even imagine what it would have been like to have grown up with that kind of wisdom and love and encouragement and unconditional love. Yow.

[Margi]

You and your wonderful daddy make me feel so much better about wearing my heart on my sleeve.

God, your relationship is wonderful.

Lucky ones? I don't know about "lucky," but I do know how special that is.

I [heart] you both.

[KathyHowe]

*speechless*

[FTS]

Those are incredible letters. You are indeed lucky, as your dad was a wonderful man.

[tricia]

Wow. Your Dad is amazing.

[Angela]

Writing letters to your children...what a wonderful and original idea. Your dad sounds like a one of a kind man, and the way you talk about him makes ME want to hug him.