My mind and heart are so full of inspiration these days. Ideas are flowing like water and it's taking everything I have to navigate the current lest I be swallowed up by it. I am feeling the need, or at least the desire, for a retreat of sorts. A couple of days to sit with myself and identify my priorities. Collect all of the individual ideas in one place and figure out the patterns. Brainstorm and brain map and work flow my way to a plan of action. Three four several days of self-absorbed solitude, with the goal of coming out the other side ready to change the world.
Is that too much to ask? And if not, why am I so afraid to ask for it?
A person living a fearless life would just ... take it.
There's so much to unwrap in that sentence, I don't even know where to start.
And while I'm typing out all of this, my brain is churning through a million and one metaphors to explain the near-mania of "so much to do, so little time, must get started, where do I start" that owns my every waking - and a few sleeping - thoughts these days.
A favorite: My head is like a pan a jiffy pop with the wafting scent of a few burnt kernels on the bottom and the foil expanded as far is it can go with out busting wide open on the top.
All of those words just spilled out of there like BAM, with zero thought.
Just...BAM. BOOM. HERE.
Another one: My head is like a baked pie filled with four and twenty blackbirds all vying for an opening vent through which to escape at the same time.
I can't imagine anyone ever wanting to be me, much less hang out with me. It's exhausting. I'm the exact polar opposite of an athlete who never stops moving his or her body, always striving for that emotional endorphin high. Me? I am physically stuck and sedentary because I'm constantly exhausted by the never-ending mental circus.
My mind is indeed a vessel. And it is full. Of combustible material that is already smoldering and about to burst into flames, no kindling necessary.
I don't know.
Something like that.
I need a huge blank wall, a stack of multi-colored post-it notes, and a block of time.
I'm convinced that's the only thing that will move me forward.
An idea wrangling session. Plot them. Look at them with objective subjectivity. Discard, disown, disband, dismiss as needed. Walk away with a viable, workable, do-able, sensible plan.
And then say a little prayer that in so emptying the mental recycle bin, it will stay empty. For a wee bit of a while, anyway.
ALL THESE WORDS and I've accomplished nothing beyond confusing the living hell out of anyone reading them.
And maybe untangling my brain...just a weeeeeee bit.
I guess that's something, eh?
*Title quote proffered to the ages by Plutarch, circa 100 AD.